I started this blog as a place to put the "mommy stuff" that just doesn't fit over on my other blog.

I became a first time mom at the age of 43 so this blog is written from *gasp* an older mom's perspective.

I love being a mom to the funniest little girl on the planet (check out the scroll over to the right ---> for some of her gems!) and I hope you enjoy reading about our adventures together!

Monday, July 12, 2010

The conundrum of GOOD Discipline

Discipline - The ability to follow direction and the courage to do what is right.

I popped Discipline in as a parenting virtue in a sort of "well I'm a parent I guess I need that" sort of way. I know that I want my child to know how to follow directions and I also want her to do what she knows is right with out blindly following "the rules" so I wrote this down with some trepidation. What exactly is the right mix of things to have her grow up responsible, self assured and willing o listen and follow her parents direction? 

Until this year, when she turned three, I really can't say I had a discipline concern. I did my best to re-direct Sweets if she was near danger or was doing something I didn't want her to do and except for the occasional frantic "NO!!!" when she got near the hot stove or oncoming traffic I didn't concern myself much with forcing my will upon her. Now we have reached a communication level where I am eager to engage her in a way that allows her choices but also sets up consequences in a way that has more likely to chose the safe, and mommy acceptable option before her. Yes, I would like it if she did what I wanted, when I wanted more then once a year.

I know that the times I get frustrated with her are 100% caused by my not setting the situation up properly. She is three so she takes 25 minutes to put her shoes on and climb into her car seat BY HERSELF! What am I thinking not padding our schedule to that degree? I KNOW that she needs the Minnie Mouse Plate and pink fork in order to eat her lunch. Why the heck would I ever be crazy enough to serve noodles and cheese on the plain pink plate? Mondays are clearly Baby Birdie days so why would I ever call her by her name and not ask "baby Birdie" to come into the living room? 

When Sweets digs in and refuses to do as asked, we have been testing out time outs to limited success. They seem to get her attention and sometimes calm her down but don't seem to encourage any ongoing understanding of the broken agreements. Lately I've been using a Power of Positive Parenting tactic by giving her clear consequences of her actions.  "If you throw that toy in the house again I will take it away." This works well enough if she isn't already attached to her idea. I get into trouble with things like jumping off furniture because I'm not going to remove all the furniture in the house and a timeout in her room is worth it to her for the fun of taking a jump to which mom has said, "No!" Same thing regarding her penchant for running away at a park when it is time to go. She really has nothing to lose by running since we were going anyway. If I walk to the car without her she will eventually come but it is an annoying ordeal when she wants to play it.

Bottom line for this week, I am interested in hearing about all sorts of discipline tactics. Things that work, things that have failed. I figure the more we get out and on the table we will all be able to pick and choose what works best for our family. Tomorrow I am going to put together a resource post with hints and advice from around the web. I will also be featuring a Linky where you can add your two cents too! (It is already in my sidebar if you want to get a jump on things) Feel free to link up new and old posts. The only requirement is that they have something to do with Discipline... funny, serious what ever you like!

And if you don't have a full post to share do tell us what is on your mind in the comments! 

I'm looking forward to learning something this week. I hope you are too!

Next Post: The Discipline Resource Guide

My Thirteen Virtues of Great Parenting are:
Fun, Discipline, Creativity, Love, Wonder, Listening, Curiosity,Compassion, 
Trust, Acceptance, Empowerment, Humility and Flexibility

This week is all about Discipline. Next week we take on Creativity

1 comment:

  1. Hi there! Just wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and following me! I have a problem with discipline as well, especially with my youngest son. Nothing seems to work with him. He is very defiant and doesn't want to be told what to do, it's his way or.. his way! We have tried everything: time out, taking toys away, even a monetary allowance (a small one since he is only 5) each week if he is good for that week. He just doesn't seem to care! I am interested in reading your future posts on discipline!


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